He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
