ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
