Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
