i just had sex bonerless
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
