I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just got carded by a ten year old.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
