It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
