I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
