I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
