Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
