There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
