let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
