i would punch a child for taco bell
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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