He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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