I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
