As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We got so high we made milksteak
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
