hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
