I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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