got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just invented taco cereal.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
