I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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