I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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