he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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