No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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