I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
