The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Michael Bay diarrhea
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
