omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
