Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
