there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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