I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
