Do vagina's smell?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
