she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
