My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
