please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
