She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
