the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize