I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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