I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
