"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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