i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Just cropdusted the office
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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