They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
