We're like a lot better than the average bears
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize