She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
