when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
