Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
