can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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