Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
