Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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