Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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