I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
