The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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