I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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