I wish i was in the wii world.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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