yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Randomize