you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize