He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
