Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
