Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize