One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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