Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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