You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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