just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
