I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
