My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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