Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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