You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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